When I was woken this morning by two children crying instead of chatting to themselves that pretty much set the pace for the rest of the day. Breakfast turned into a battle of wills, he wanted cake but he got cereal, she got porridge but clearly not enough porridge and I just wasn’t feeding her quick enough! He wanted to watch Peppa the same episodes we’ve seen OVER AND OVER for the last few months! She wanted to cry. She’s cried all day. I’m not exaggerating.
When I speak to Darren and friends or family about these kinds of days I tend to get the usual response of are they teething? are they ill? are they tired? they must be hungry! NO! They’re just crying. Just. Crying. Has anyone else had these days where the only thing you can hear is crying or whining?
Today Mason didn’t spend much time having tantrums he just spent all morning ignoring me. I have to accept by this point the rest of the day will be shit. Acceptance is the best way. If you accept you’re going to have a hard day, it doesn’t get any easier but you’ve accepted it.
So after the 100th time of asking mason not to drag his toys along our new oak coffee table (why did we buy new furniture?!) I had to walk out the room! With a crying baby attached to my hip who just wouldn’t calm down and a toddler banging things on the table. My head was about to explode. Not just my head, my whole body I WAS GOING TO EXPLODE. I’ve had bad days, tough days, hard days but once you hand me a bad day, sprinkled with tiredness, a headache (soon to be migraine), hunger and I’ve not had my morning caffeine fix! Then that bad day turns me into a balloon filled with far too much air!
I’ve accepted we’re having a bad day. No. A shit day. So how do I get through the day? Ignore it! I disappear in my head to some place happy and if I disappear hard enough I can’t hear it. I can’t hear crying or our lovely new furniture being damaged. I carry on my business of changing nappies, preparing milk, preparing lunch, preparing dinner and washing up. If I come out of that ‘calm place’ I force myself to be in, then I will turn into that balloon again. This time that balloon will turn into a monster and there will be tears from all three of us all for very different reasons! So if the postman happens to look in through the window he will see me crying, holding my baby who’s also crying, hugging my toddler and he’s crying too. Just a mess so if you’re having a BAD day then find your inner calm.
If you can’t find your inner calm then pop something on the tv that the kiddies will enjoy watching – tear free! Call up your man and remind him he’s left the toilet seat up, his clothes on the floor or he’s moved something! Darren gets at least 1 of these calls a day. He knows what this call means, so he keeps very calm and happy on the phone and just hearing his voice, an adults voice, tips my mood slightly the other way.
Another way to get through one of those BAD days is keeping busy. Thank you Dyson because you have invented something that not only cleans my house but entertains my children too! The vacuum amuses the children enough to stop tears, tantrums it sometimes even brings smiles! This keeps me busy enough to bring me closer to naptime! Not my naptime but sure enough there will be a nap looming for one of them which frees me up to focus more on the other child (who is clearly also having a bad day it’s not just me) and we can just wallow in our bad day together.
Naptime is my favourite time when we have bad days, they don’t often nap at the same time (would be nice) but to just be able to focus on one upset child instead of two is much easier. Sometimes they even let me drink my tea while it’s hot!
We all have bad days and some days are REALLY bad. It’s ok to know you’re about to blow, put the children down and leave the room to collect yourself. It’s a tough job, there’s no manual for this (I wish they were born with one!) but I try to remind myself that yesterday was a really GOOD day, tomorrow could be a good day? It’s all part of being a parent right?