With just one child, it sometimes took me anywhere up to an hour to leave. Now we have two, need I say more? Getting ready can seem like a never-ending task. Today we were meant to go to Tesco then to a castle. We only managed Tesco.
First it’s breakfast. There’s no point in dressing the children before breakfast, before any meal, because bibs are in fact, a form of strangulation (in their eyes) and clothing works perfectly well to mop up any spills. Not today kids you can eat in your pyjamas.
Toddler now wants a ‘stick stick’ so I hand him a breadstick. He gives half to his sister, cue proud gushing over him sharing. She then crunches it all up and spreads it across the floor. Hilarious.
I am now cleaning up breakfast and breadstick mess. Baby hates that I’m not paying her attention and clings to my legs for dear life.
Toddler decides ‘leg-clinging’ game looks fun, and joins in.
I shake children off ready to prepare lunch. Toddler sees everything I’m preparing and decides he wants it all.
I give him an apple as a compromise. He takes a bite, says ‘mmm’. Then throws it in the bin.
Baby now tired and desperate for a nap. I can’t take the crying any longer and I just cannot keep her awake until we leave so I put her down for a nap. I can then get myself ready.
Baby happily asleep.
I do some ironing.
Baby starting to stir and I think shit I’m still not ready.
I quickly get dressed and put some makeup on. Toddler wants, no, needs my makeup bag. This leads to the ‘stop, drop and roll’ tantrum, forcing me to roll my eyes and leave the room.
Baby dressed, which was similar to how I imagine our cat would behave, should I ever decide to dress her. Savage.
Time to dress the toddler. His clothes in hand and he informs me, under no circumstances, does he want to be dressed. I ask him if he wants to go out, he replies yes and happily heads over to the door. Naked.
I explain to him that to go out he needs to be dressed ”no no”. There is no ”no” in this. He runs. I run head first into the nearest wall.
We spend a good couple of hours of ‘lets get dressed’ chase. With a few ‘fuck it, I give up’ retreats to the sofa.
I eventually catch him off guard and throw his top on like a kidnapper would throw a bag over their victim. He’s very disappointed in my actions but this gets the ball rolling for jeans, socks and shoes.
We head out to the car. Baby fills her nappy, leggings and carseat and it starts to rain.
Of course it does. And it hasn’t stopped raining since. (One day later)
Every outing comes with its challenges. Every. Outing. If we are to leave on time, this means we need to aim to leave two hours before the time we would actually leave.