We went out yesterday to a castle, a bit out of the ordinary for our usual day out. It was just me and the two children, I felt brave. We had a fabulous day, walking through the grounds, seeing the geese. Our toddler trying to touch the geese which pissed them off immensely. He, on the other hand found their anger hysterical, as I kept swooping him away out of pecking reach.
We wandered down to the castle playground in the hopes that a swing would be free (keeps them contained for a while) but it was full. I thought ”they’ll finish on the swing soon” I also repeated this thought to our toddler. It turns out, they won’t finish on the swing soon. They are quite happy and shameless in their swing hogging, whilst myself and a few other parents hold their children back in desperation. Ten minutes later, ten minutes! Not one parent offered up the swing, that comment isn’t all fair since one of the swing pushers was a child. She was still old enough to know better.
I gave up hope that we had any chance of getting a swing. I was becoming weak from holding back a toddler who just wanted to run at the swing, but would just end up being kicked in the face. I strapped him back into the stroller, as his tantrum would be far more controllable, when he’s strapped in and covered over with a rain cover, fingers in ears ”la la la”. As we are on the other side of the gate a swing becomes free, FUCK.
I pushed the stroller toward the lake, hoping the boat would distract a tantrum.
I kept repeating the same Empty Threat ”shall we go home? we will go home!” we won’t go home.
It was a tree that ended up stopping his tantrum, not just any tree, there were plenty around. It was obviously a special, magical tree. That it was, in my eyes anything that stops a tantrum in its tracks is indeed special and magical.
We carried on enjoying our fabulous day. Until it was time to leave. It’s time to go, I explained to the toddler in a positive tone. ”no, no”. He eventually ‘works with me’ and we walk hand in hand towards to exit. At the slowest pace imaginable.
Baby getting distressed and I decide we need to speed things up. The only way to speed up a heel-kicking, feet-dragging toddler is to put him in the stroller and walk at a normal pace.
The threat of the stroller turns him into a plank of wood.
Plank of wood somehow in the stroller, screaming, of course. I make a dash for the exit. Both children crying attracts a lot of attention from passers-by. Now is not the time to make a humorous comment about my children being upset. It won’t be humorous, it will be dangerous.
We can have the best of days, but it will usually end in tears.