I am guilty of asking the same questions. Holds hands up. I couldn’t imagine the reaction to these answers, all in a sarcastic tone of course!
- When are you having your next child? Well, we were thinking of getting at it pretty soon actually. Our second is now a few weeks old and I’m crying almost on a daily basis, so why not add another into the mix.
- Are you sure you won’t have any more? I will let you decide, you seem very convinced two children is not quite enough for my family so how many should I have? Should we stop at five? Who will pay for these children, will you pay for them?
- Does Mr Firstooth ever get to relax? No. When he gets home, that’s it for me, I’m off the clock. He has to feed and bath the children single-handedly, followed by preparing me dinner, cleaning the dishes, building a shed all while I put my feet up and watch TV. Talking of feet, he better hurry up chopping the firewood because they need rubbing!
- Will dinner be ready when I get home? Of course! Would you like to know what you’re having? Shall I make it a three-course event? Hang on, I will just lock the kids in the cupboard and get on with it.
- Oh, I see you haven’t prepared your family meal for this evening? No, I never prepare a meal. That’s what Mr Firstooth does once he gets home from work, remember. Sometimes we will get a family bucket for the baby and toddler too.
- Are you thinking about going back to work? Didn’t I tell you? We won the lottery! I need never work again.
- Are you busy next week? In what respect? Because technically I’m (never) free as a bird, I’m a stay at home mum so I tend to sip tea all day and watch reality TV while the children play harmoniously together.