6 Reasons A Newborn Is The Easiest Age

  1. They sleep all the time. Sure, they don’t sleep continuously through the night. They’re the only reason you get out of bed, a dozen times, every night. But during the day you can get washing done, have a shower, eat a meal and nap yourself. You lucky bugger.
  2. They can be easily lulled into drunken stupor by keeping them milked. They are at their happiest during a feed and they actually drink their milk. Boob or bottle they will take it and are satisfied with just that. They don’t cry because the bottle or plate is blue and they wanted the purple one, not that you would know they want the purple one, you can’t understand what on earth they are saying through their angry tears.
  3. You are enough. You are all they need, not toys, TV or different types of food bribery to keep them happy. It’s just you they want to see. Once they’re older they actually get quite bored of you and welcome interaction from any person, other than you. This is a great way to stop a tantrum, by having a stranger speak to your child, the tears stop instantly (even though when you look there were no bloody tears anyway, fooled again!).
  4. When you put them somewhere, that is where they stay. They won’t disappear into the abyss the second their bum touches the floor. They can travel around the house with you in a bouncy chair or moses basket, unable port themselves into the bathroom, threatening to climb in the toilet.
  5. They’re safe. Once children are mobile, stairs, sockets, drawers, ornaments, roads, strangers (endless list) all becomes a danger to them. Yet they will flirt with this danger at every possible opportunity. Newborns are unable to make your heart fly out of your chest with that fear. Your biggest fear with a newborn is their breathing, milk intake and poo colour (oh, the glamour). These fears are still present as they get older and will accompany thousands of others, some you would never even have thought of (like changing one childs nappy on the floor, while the other races over to explore the nappy filled with shit, can they not smell the offensive stench?)
  6. Newborns can’t say no. In-fact they can’t talk at all. They can’t demand ‘Peppa!’ hundreds of times a day or chips and cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Newborns have no concept of doing anything, so they don’t have the concept of refusing anything. Ah, bliss!

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12 thoughts on “6 Reasons A Newborn Is The Easiest Age

  1. I always giggle when a first time mum says “I just want baby to start crawling!”. They don’t know what’s coming their way!!! I was the same with Monkey. but with Bumblebee I’m like, take your time crawling!

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    • Me too! The easiness of a newborn should never be taken for granted. I think I thought it would all get easier as they got old [since that’s what everyone insisted] but that’s not how it went. We are rewarded in different ways though, like when babies turn into toddlers and also comedians! 😀

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  2. With my daughter, the first born diva, I was like that. She seemed so advanced at everything. Crawling early, talking early, she knew her abc’s and could count to 10 before her friend who was the same age. She’s 3 now and knows *everything* or so she thinks. But my son… He didn’t walk until after he was a year old, He is almost 2 and still doesn’t talk much other than Momma. He didn’t loose the bottle until… well he still has a bottle at night. I know you’re supposed to take it away already but I am just not in any rush for him to get bigger right now. Haha

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    • My son sounds like yours and my daughter like yours too but our boy came first. He walked at 1 and isn’t saying much but he understands what we say (still has a bottle to much to people’s disaprovement, oops) our daughter is not yet 9 months and has started walking, she says mumum dada nana and babbles a lot but I don’t think she gets what they mean yet. The older they get the more challenging it is I wish I could freeze these ages, but all of us mums will say that at every age milestone I’m sure! 😀

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      • Yep! Except right now I don’t want to freeze my daughter at 3. They tell you terrible 2’s? Ha! It’s 3 you gotta watch out for. I don’t worry about my so being kinda behind though. I know he has a voice and i know he understands. When he’s ready he will talk. Plus from what I’ve always been told it’s pretty normal for boys and his pedi doesn’t seem to think he has any problems.

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      • Oh no! I have it all to come next year! *covers eyes* there’s no benchmark for childrens development they are all so different, having two has made me realise that even more 🙂

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  3. I do miss the newborn stage and when I see newborn babies down the shopping centre I do want to give them big squishy cuddles! I’m also enjoying the age Mia is now (16 months) as we have such a giggle together and she understands why we’re laughing and also knows how to make me laugh! Yes there are the toddler tantrums but newborns have their downside too so we just have to enjoy every single moment as it’s scary how quick they grow up! 🙂 x

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  4. This really made me chuckle! At the time i found it challenging having a newborn but it was so much easier than having a 16 month old!

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  5. Loved this post and totally agreed. With my first I loved all the stages – but he is now six and my daughter five and these are the most delightful ages! They are barely unreasonable (except for sibling fighting) and thank GOD I’ve seen the back of all that ‘I want the blue cup. No no I meant the yellow. No I meant the pink. The PINK! The PINK!’ phase. I found that trying. But this bit is definitely my favourite after the newborn phase.

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  6. This is fab!The newborn stage really is the easiest isn’t it!I’ve got a 16 year hormonal,grumpy git.A 6 year who is a dream – can I keep him this age pleeease?Then there’s my 3 year old girl *foot stamps* “I want it now!!” X

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