- We laid in until 10am like lazy bastards and when we dragged ourselves downstairs we could enjoy a hot beverage vs Being in bed past 7.15am is now considered a lay-in. Whilst juggling breakfasts and food throwing, any hot (turned cold) beverage we have, has to be microwaved twice before the first sip
- A late night out of choice because we were enjoying wine and laughing loudly or dare I say, in a restaurant enjoying a long leisurely meal vs A late night because one of the children (sometimes both of them) refuse to go to bed without a fight and evenings have to be spent tip-toeing around the house avoiding every creaky stair and talking is kept to a whisper. They still wake up.
- We used to sleep vs Never. Sleeping. Again.
- Your social life was once a happening thing vs A social scene consisting mainly of Whatsapps to friends with pictures of your children. Sorry guys. Did you all get the one I sent today? Plus playdates with friends. My favourite kind of dates. Children happy. Mums swapping stories *gossiping.
- Going to a restaurant as a couple, what did we even talk about back then? I remember it was peaceful vs Visiting a restaurant and eating the food as quickly as humanly possible. Ordering everything on the menu the toddler mildly likes so he is distracted by a tasty offering of food. Toddler eats none of the food and chooses to dance on the table instead. Bruno Mars style. Whilst the baby is crying loudly and everyone is staring. Conversation consisting of ‘here I’ll have her while you eat your chicken’. Not to mention we’re paying for this privilege.
- You could eat anything you wanted vs Your food is never your food. Never again. If you’re eating it, they will want it.
- Leaving the house took a matter of minutes whilst we threw on our shoes and our biggest smiles vs Taking over an hour to leave the house due to numerous nappy changes and one that’s managed to leak through every sodding layer. Walking out of the door sweating and huffing juggling children, car seats, bags and Teddy. Shit, don’t forget Teddy!
- I used to work a 9 to 5 job, lunch breaks, adult chat and hot drinks included vs I now work a 24/7 job lunch is an on-the-go occurrence, I still have a boss. Knee-high he’s known as. Park visits and crying (me, hiding in the wardrobe with wine) is also part of the job description.
- All of our clothes would be clean, fresh and possibly even ironed (just kidding, I hate ironing) we could even afford to buy new clothes on a regular basis, should the unthinkable happen and something stain or tear vs Leaving the house in something the baby has just been sick on and not even caring because we’ve successfully left the house. Using Our leggings as a kitchen towel, every spill or food residue ends up wiped down our legs. Always wearing leggings because everything pre-children won’t go past my knees! Wearing the same outfit on rotation because the luxury of buying anything new is a distant memory, meaning some things are ripped and stained but it fits. We always seem to find money to splash on regular new clothes for the children. Funny that.
- It used to be just us two vs Being the very proud owners of this crazy pair
I can remember my life before the whirlwind of children but I can’t imagine life without them. They’re brilliant.