Our Ban On Saying ‘No’ Update

Last week I did a post explaining that as a mum I say ‘no’ far too often. It was rare for me to ask politely for him to stop doing something saying ‘no’ was a much quicker and easier way for my cheeky toddler to stop pushing them boundaries.

It has been a week now and I have to be honest, I said ‘no’! But a lot less than I would have done normally. I was very aware of what I was saying to him and my approach but sometimes he caught me off guard and a quick, sharp ‘no’ was needed.

Since being more concious of asking him to stop doing things I would ask first with a please and explain why he should stop (in a firm tone), then I would ask again and if he continued to ignore me he would go and sit on the stairs. I slipped up on ‘no’ when I saw him getting over excited and about to throw his train at Mia and other similar situations. I do think sometimes the polite calm route is too soft and a firm voice asking them to stop, along with a time out is more appropriate (and I normally throw a snappy ‘no’ in too).

So my week without ‘no’ as a form of discipline wasn’t really without it. I have noticed a change in Masons behaviour when I am calmer in disciplining him, he’s been less likely to re-offend or have the ‘stop drop and roll’ tantrum. He is still learning and it’s natural for him to find out what he can get away with, I still do now! So when he’s testing the boundaries and I’m not being snappy and short, he’s able to take what he can from what I say to him and he’s not becoming anxious and naughty when he’s being told to stop doing something. I’ve learnt a new approach and I hope it can continue!

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4 thoughts on “Our Ban On Saying ‘No’ Update

  1. I think there are certain situations where “no!” is the best option – the example you gave is spot on. If a child is about to accidentally (or otherwise!) hurt themselves or someone else, it’s the fastest way to stop that happening, especially if you’re on the other side of the room. I do try and use the “please can we do this instead” route, but sometimes a firm “no” is the only thing that does the job!

    I’m glad this has worked out for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s not a word we can rule out and I think he knows when I say it I mean it! You’re right about saying ‘no’ if you’re not near them it’s just much easier. Thank you I am too hopefully it can make me a slightly calmer mum 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have this debate with myself too: http://mummaknows.com/2015/06/02/do-i-tell-her-no-too-often/

    I’m always trying to learn new ways of parenting my toddler because it is so hard to teach them reasoning and to resist saying ‘no’ to everything. They are so curious but sometimes we just need to get dinner ready! Haha I am slowly trying to say no less and try other means of ‘discipline’….like instead of saying ‘no whining’ I say ‘use your words’…..I’m still trying to better myself with this though!

    Liked by 1 person

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