Last week I did a post explaining that as a mum I say ‘no’ far too often. It was rare for me to ask politely for him to stop doing something saying ‘no’ was a much quicker and easier way for my cheeky toddler to stop pushing them boundaries.
It has been a week now and I have to be honest, I said ‘no’! But a lot less than I would have done normally. I was very aware of what I was saying to him and my approach but sometimes he caught me off guard and a quick, sharp ‘no’ was needed.
Since being more concious of asking him to stop doing things I would ask first with a please and explain why he should stop (in a firm tone), then I would ask again and if he continued to ignore me he would go and sit on the stairs. I slipped up on ‘no’ when I saw him getting over excited and about to throw his train at Mia and other similar situations. I do think sometimes the polite calm route is too soft and a firm voice asking them to stop, along with a time out is more appropriate (and I normally throw a snappy ‘no’ in too).
So my week without ‘no’ as a form of discipline wasn’t really without it. I have noticed a change in Masons behaviour when I am calmer in disciplining him, he’s been less likely to re-offend or have the ‘stop drop and roll’ tantrum. He is still learning and it’s natural for him to find out what he can get away with, I still do now! So when he’s testing the boundaries and I’m not being snappy and short, he’s able to take what he can from what I say to him and he’s not becoming anxious and naughty when he’s being told to stop doing something. I’ve learnt a new approach and I hope it can continue!