When we found out we were pregnant with our first it was an amazing moment and a lovely one to share with friends and family. We lived in a little 2 bedroom house in a cute cottage style area and we were so excited to welcome our child into our family and our home.
Before our son arrived we bought all the necessities like a cot and the changing table (a gift from the grandparents) to put into his soon to be room, a buggy (a dud one from ebay that we had to replace) and lots of other baby bits, many were gifts from friends. We had everything ready for his arrival and we kept thinking wow it doesn’t fill our little house too much at all. Babies are tiny, but the things that come along with a baby take up a lot of space!
We felt so ready to be parents, looking into the future with our new son with rose-tinted glasses. I think every new parent is a bit naïve but I was so relaxed about the whole situation. I just thought this whole parenting thing would be a breeze. Everyone says how difficult birth was and I was so lucky that my birth was extremely straightforward, that again made me think easy breezy birth must mean an easy breezy baby right? Plus he slept like he was catching up on sleep after a night out clubbing on his first night. I remember laying next to him exhausted but determined not to sleep because I didn’t want to miss a second.
Once I was discharged from hospital the next evening that was when it dawned on us that, it’s not going to be easy breezy! He cried from 10pm until 5am. We started to settle after that tough night and enjoyed getting to know our baby. Gradually we started to realise why were we so fussed about fitting him into our home? He’s taken over our lives! I don’t think anyone can quite prepare you for the drastic life change that is about to happen when you have a child.
We used to be a couple that enjoyed going out for meals, having a lay-in, weekends away and treating ourselves to lovely new clothes and things for our home. That was our life and we hadn’t appreciated that our lives just couldn’t be that and still fit a child into the equation too. Our son didn’t fit that lifestyle, so naturally it changed. It was hard to adjust to not eating out as much, occasionally we would squeeze in a quick restaurant meal while he was napping in the buggy (i’m a foodie so we had to cut our meals out in baby steps). Still going to a restaurant with a baby just wasn’t practical and it only got harder as he got older.
Everything that was our life before our son was born disappeared and we had this whole new life as a family. It didn’t take long to adjust to life as a family and it’s the best lifestyle we could live now. Knowing how much room we would have to make in our lives before having our son, wouldn’t have made me think twice about having a child but it would have prepared us both a bit more for the road ahead. We laugh about it now, how naïve we were about focusing on arranging the space in our home just right so it didn’t feel like a squeeze, thinking our lives could continue as there were plus baby. Everyone else made it look so easy but everyone else went through the same transition to fit their new little baby into their once hectic lives.
There isn’t any advice to give first time parents about becoming parents, it’s something we all just naturally pick up and adjust to. The excitement of becoming parents and meeting this new beautiful baby overwhelms any advice that is given. I don’t remember being told how hard it was going to be, but I wouldn’t have listened because we were going to get through it our own way and we were far too excited to think of our baby bringing us anything other than joy!
The strange thing is, we thought our second baby would be really hard but she was quite the opposite!